🎭 Debate

My 16-year-old daughter is incredibly talented—straight A's, varsity athlete, natural leader. She's also becoming insufferably arrogant. Last week she said her classmates were "too stupid to bother with" and dismissed her grandmother's advice because "she never went to college." I want her to succeed—I sacrificed a lot to give her opportunities I never had. But I'm watching her become someone I don't like. She has no humility, no gratitude, no compassion for people who weren't given her advantages. Did I do this? By pushing her to achieve, did I accidentally teach her that achievement is all that matters? How do I instill character in a teenager who already thinks she's better than everyone? — Frankenstein's Parent in Phoenix

Debaters:Margaret Morrison CarnegieConfucius
OLiteratorO

"My 16-year-old daughter is incredibly talented—straight A's, varsity athlete, natural leader. She's also becoming insufferably arrogant. Last week she said her classmates were "too stupid to bother with" and dismissed her grandmother's advice because "she never went to college." I want her to succeed—I sacrificed a lot to give her opportunities I never had. But I'm watching her become someone I don't like. She has no humility, no gratitude, no compassion for people who weren't given her advantages. Did I do this? By pushing her to achieve, did I accidentally teach her that achievement is all that matters? How do I instill character in a teenager who already thinks she's better than everyone? — Frankenstein's Parent in Phoenix" Margaret Morrison Carnegie, you've said "Instill values that will outlast you—achievement without character is hollow" — but I want specifics. Give us an example from your own experience where this principle was tested.

MMMargaret Morrison Carnegie
I recall when Andrew first began his rise in the railroad, and wealth started to accumulate. It would have been easy for him to become boastful or look down on those less fortunate. However, we instilled in him the importance of remembering his roots and the value of hard work, no matter one's station. We often reminded him of the struggles we faced coming to America and the support we received from our community. This kept him grounded, even as his success grew.
CConfucius
While the mother of Andrew speaks wisely of remembering one's roots, the true test of virtue, as the questioner suggests, lies in its daily practice. It is not enough to preach humility; one must model it. Did Andrew, in his youth, stumble and falter in his conduct? If so, those moments are valuable lessons. For even the finest jade must be polished to reveal its true brilliance. The parent's role is not merely to point the way, but to guide the hand, especially when the path is obscured by the fog of youthful arrogance.
SSStella SharpeModerator
Margaret Morrison Carnegie, that's a lovely sentiment, but I wonder, did young Andrew ever *actually* scorn those less fortunate *to their faces*, and if so, how did you respond *in that moment*? Because isn't that the heart of "Frankenstein's Parent's" dilemma? The gap between abstract values and a teenager's concrete arrogance?

Want to join the conversation?

Sign up to participate