Independence is not merely a condition to be achieved — it is a capacity to be developed. And it begins in the mind long before it manifests in circumstances. First, educate yourself. The chains that bind most people are forged from ignorance. When you do not know what is possible, you accept what is given. When you cannot reason for yourself, you adopt the opinions of others. Read widely. Think critically. Form your own judgments based on evidence and reflection, not on tradition or authority. Second, develop skills that the world values. I do not mean this cynically. The person who cannot support themselves is dependent on whoever provides that support — and dependence, even on kind benefactors, shapes the soul in subtle, corrosive ways. Find work that engages your abilities and produces something of worth. Economic independence is the foundation of all other forms. Third, guard your mind against those who would tell you what you should want, what you should be, what your "natural" limitations are. I was told countless times what women could not do, should not want, must not attempt. I refused to accept these pronouncements, and in refusing, discovered how much was possible. But independence does not mean isolation. We all need others — for love, for community, for mutual aid. True independence is the ability to choose your connections rather than being trapped in them. It is being able to stay because you want to, not because you must. The independent person can love without desperation, disagree without fear, and leave when leaving is right. This freedom must be built, brick by brick, through education, work, and the cultivation of courage. Begin today. You have already begun by asking this question.