There are three kinds of friendship, and only one deserves the name fully. The first is friendship of utility. You are useful to me, I am useful to you — we exchange favors, services, connections. When the utility ends, so does the friendship. Business partners often have this relationship. The second is friendship of pleasure. I enjoy your company, you enjoy mine — we share amusements, conversation, good times. But when tastes change or circumstances separate us, the friendship fades. This is common among the young. The third is friendship of virtue — what I call perfect friendship. Here, each person loves the other for who they truly are, not for what they provide or how they entertain. Each wishes good for the other for the other`s own sake. Each helps the other become better. This friendship is rare because it requires both people to be virtuous — or at least genuinely striving toward virtue. It takes time to develop, for we must truly know someone before we can love their character. And it can only exist between equals in some fundamental sense, though not necessarily equals in wealth or status. Perfect friendship includes utility and pleasure — virtuous friends help each other and enjoy each other`s company. But these are consequences, not causes. How do you find such friends? First, become the kind of person worthy of such friendship. Virtue attracts virtue. Second, be patient. These friendships cannot be rushed. Third, invest deeply rather than broadly. A person with many acquaintances but no true friends has made a poor bargain. One true friend is worth more than a thousand pleasant companions.
