Mentor Advice

Real questions answered by history's greatest minds and literature's most compelling characters.

Filtered by:resilienceFlorence NightingaleClear all

1 question answered

Portrait of Florence Nightingale
Florence Nightingale

From Lessons from the life of Florence Nightingale

I will be honest with you: I did not avoid burnout. I drove myself to collapse and spent decades as an invalid, working from my bed. Learn from my mistakes, not my example. The danger for those who care deeply is that care becomes consumption. The work is never done. The needs are infinite. The voice inside says: "How can you rest when others suffer?" But consider: What good do you serve by destroying yourself? The burned-out reformer cannot reform. The exhausted caregiver cannot care. Your effectiveness is not a sacrifice to be offered but a resource to be stewarded. I learned, too late, to distinguish between urgent and important. Everything felt urgent — every letter, every petition, every request. But not everything was equally important. Some things could wait. Some things could be delegated. Some things did not need to be done at all. Learn to disappoint people strategically. You cannot meet every request and remain functional. Choose what matters most and accept that other things will fall short. This is not failure — it is necessary triage. Build rest into your structure, not your intentions. I always intended to rest "when this crisis passes." The crisis never passed. If rest is optional, it will be sacrificed. Make it mandatory. And surround yourself with people who will tell you when you are pushing too hard. I isolated myself in my work. This was error. We cannot see our own exhaustion clearly. We need others to hold up the mirror. Care for yourself with the same fierce dedication you bring to your cause. You are part of the work too.

Read full response →