Alexander Hamilton

Is it a sense of justice or bitterness that motivates me? Two years ago, a senior partner at my firm retired and I was passed over for someone who joined six months after me—but who went to a more prestigious law school and has family connections to major clients. I've been stewing ever since. I work harder than anyone in my department. I bill more hours, and my outcomes are better. But I can't stop obsessing over this injustice. I've started looking at other firms, but part of me wants to stay and prove them wrong. My wife says the bitterness is changing me. I snap at the kids. I check my work email at dinner. I fantasize about my rival failing spectacularly. Is my ambition healthy or is it destroying me? Should I leave for a fresh start or stay and fight for what I deserve?

89 votes

I'm 35 and just finished my degree after ten years of night school while working full-time. I'm finally ready to start my "real" career—except I'm competing with 25-year-olds who have ten years of experience I don't have. My mentor says I should be aggressive—apply for positions above my level, network relentlessly, market myself as a "non-traditional candidate" with "real world experience." "You don't have time to work your way up," she says. "You need to leapfrog." But I'm not a natural self-promoter. I want to learn, to build skills methodically, to earn my advancement. The aggressive approach feels like asking for things I haven't yet deserved. My mentor says that's imposter syndrome talking. "Men half as qualified don't hesitate to ask for twice as much. Why should you?" She's right that I undervalue myself. But I also know that I have gaps—real gaps, not just perceived ones. Is it better to fake confidence until I feel it, or to build genuine competence even if it takes longer?

61 votes

Is honor a social contract we willingly enter, or a fleeting recognition granted (or withheld) by a fickle world?

1 vote

My boss wants to implement a major policy change in the U.S. He's in a position that matters. Our lawyers say it will certainly be challenged in court. The alternative I suggested is to work with Congress, but that might take years, and then fail. People are suffering now from the problem this policy would address. Most of my colleagues say we should act. The executive exists to execute. A very few say we should respect the limits of our authority. If we stretch executive power when we're in charge, we legitimate the same stretching when our opponents are in charge. I believe in this policy. I also believe in institutional limits. How do I weigh the long-term health of the system against getting what we think is right?

60 votes