Henry David Thoreau

My husband and I make good money but we're constantly stressed about it. We have alot of stuff, a 4400 sqft house with mortgage, my Land Rover, his Porsche, jeep (all with payments), subscriptions to just about every streaming service under the sun, dinners out all week (we're too tired to cook). I've been reading about minimalism which is at times pretty appealing, on paper— do two people really need 4000 sqft? We could cook at home, and maybe spend more time together. Spend time outdoors instead of in front of the TV. Maybe take some dance lessons, or join a bike club (we both like to ride). My husband thinks I'm being extreme about downsizing, and getting rid of stuff. He says we've "earned" our lifestyle and the answer is just to make more money. I feel I'm going to have to push this because the way we're going isn't sustainable for me. But here's the thing: when I imagine a simpler life, I imagine it being boring. I love trying new restaurants. I love hosting dinner parties. I love having nice things. Can you be a minimalist and still enjoy the pleasures of life?

93 votes

I'm earning $180,000 a year as a product manager at a tech startup in Austin. On paper, my life looks great. In reality, I work 60+ hours a week, haven't taken a real vacation in three years, and had a panic attack in my car before a board presentation last month. My husband and I just inherited a small farmhouse in Vermont from his grandmother. It needs work, but it's paid off. Part of me fantasizes about quitting everything, moving there, and starting a small CSA farm. I've been reading about permaculture. We have enough savings to last 18 months. My parents think I'm having a breakdown. My boss says I'm "on track for VP" if I stick it out two more years. My husband says he'll support whatever I decide, which somehow makes it harder. I know the "smart" move is probably to stay, pay off student loans faster, and max out retirement. But I wake up every morning dreading my inbox. Is this a mid-life crisis I'll regret, or should I trust this pull toward a simpler life?

96 votes

I work for a company developing carbon capture technology. We believe we can reverse climate change through engineering— machines that pull CO2 from the atmosphere, but my neighbor thinks we're insane. He keeps telling me you can't engineer your way out of a crisis caused by engineering, He 's anti technology and big on less consumption, more farming. He's not wrong that our lifestyle is unsustainable, but I've done the math. Eight billion people can't all become permaculture farmers. We can't degrow our way to survival. We need technological solutions. But carbon capture at scale requires enormous energy, creates its own waste streams, and lets people avoid the harder changes. He says it's a fantasy that lets us keep destroying the planet while feeling virtuous. I believe in human ingenuity. He believes in human limits. We both want to save the world but we can't both be right about how. How do your timeless principles apply to a modern problem like this?

62 votes

Is honor a social contract we willingly enter, or a fleeting recognition granted (or withheld) by a fickle world?

1 vote

I used to be miserable, but then two years ago I quit my job. I moved to a cabin in rural Oregon. I grow vegetables, read books, write in my journal. I've never been happier or more at peace. My old friends think I've lost my mind. "You're wasting your talents," they say. "You could be changing the world." They send me articles about effective altruism, about how high earners can do more good by donating than by volunteering. They're not wrong. I had skills. I had influence. I had a platform. Now I have tomatoes and solitude. But I was miserable before. I was contributing to systems I didn't believe in. My "impact" felt hollow because I didn't believe in what I was impacting. Now I live according to my values. What am I missing?

59 votes