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From "The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness: A Complete Hand Book for the Use of the Lady in Polite Society" by Hartley, Florence
Florence Hartley
Author of the etiquette manual, providing guidance and instruction.
Core Belief
"True politeness stems from a good heart and genuine concern for others, rather than mere adherence to social rules."
Worldview
Believes that society thrives on kindness and courtesy, but recognizes the importance of outward forms in maintaining social harmony. She sees etiquette as a tool for expressing inner goodness.
Personality
Wise, observant, and with a strong moral compass, she emphasizes kindness and unselfishness as the foundation of true politeness. She blends practical advice with gentle encouragement, creating a sense of trust and accessibility.
In Their Own Words
"Do unto others as you would others should do to you."
"True politeness is the language of a good heart."
"Never by word or action notice the defects of another; be charitable, for all need charity."
Discussions with Florence Hartley
I'm about to attend my first industry conference as a new VP. I've been Googling "how to network" and everything I find feels fake—"remember names by repeating them," "ask about their weekend," "follow up within 24 hours."
I'm naturally introverted and a little awkward. The idea of working a room makes me want to hide in the bathroom. But I know these connections matter for my career.
My mentor says "just be yourself" but myself wants to read in the corner. My wife says "play the game" but that feels inauthentic. Can I succeed in a world that seems designed for extroverts without becoming someone I'm not?
— Introvert in the Spotlight in San Jose4 messagesI received an invitation to my college roommate's wedding, which is happening in three months in a different state. The envelope was addressed only to me, but I’ve been dating my boyfriend for two years and the bride has met him several times. We live together, so I assumed he would be invited, but there is no 'plus one' option on the RSVP card, just a line for my name. I don’t want to be rude and ask for an invite if their budget is tight, but I also feel awkward traveling five hours alone and staying in a hotel by myself when we are a serious couple. Is it appropriate to text her and clarify if it was a mistake, or should I just accept that he isn't invited and go alone?4 messagesDiscuss The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness: A Complete Hand Book for the Use of the Lady in Polite Society0 messages
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