Denis Diderot

My oldest is 12 now, and she's asking questions. "Dad, do you believe in God?" I've been dodging it, but she's persistent. She's noticed I don't pray. My wife wants me to affirm the faith for the children's sake, even if I don't believe. "You don't have to lie," she says. "Just don't undermine what I'm teaching them." But my daughter asked directly. She deserves honesty. And yet—I remember the comfort faith gave me as a child. Am I depriving my children of something valuable by sharing my doubts? Do I owe my children my truth, or do I owe them the chance to find their own?

57 votes

Should I shut up and get along with everyone else? Everyone at the company where I work seems to agree on everything. Meetings are just people nodding. When I raise questions or point out flaws in plans, I'm told I'm "not being a team player" or "bringing negativity." Last month I questioned whether our new product launch was ready—I had data showing quality issues. My boss said I was "creating obstacles." The product launched with exactly the problems I predicted. Nobody acknowledged I was right. I believe challenging ideas makes them stronger. But my "intellectual curiosity" is being framed as insubordination. Should I learn to shut up and go along, or keep pushing even if it damages my career? — Meg

77 votes

My 8-year-old daughter was diagnosed with leukemia. She fought for 14 months. We prayed every night. She died anyway. I can't pray anymore. I can't enter a church without feeling stressed and angry. Every reassurance excuse nI once found persuasive—"God's mysterious ways," "suffering builds character," "she's in a better place"—now sounds empty. Now I miss something, I mean I am devastated about my daughter. But I've begun accepting it, I realize there's some other thing I miss. I think maybe I miss believing. I miss the community, the ritual, the sense that my life has meaning. Some friends in support group say I'm better off without delusion. My priest says doubt is part of faith's journey.

79 votes