Jane Austen

I’ve been seeing this guy for about three months, and things were going perfectly; we saw each other three times a week and he even introduced me to his sister. Last weekend, we went on a trip together, and ever since we got back, his texts have become one-word answers and he takes hours to reply. I asked him if everything was okay, and he said he’s just 'busy at work,' but I can see him active on Instagram posting stories. I really like him and don't want to come off as clingy or desperate, but the shift in energy is giving me major anxiety. Should I confront him about the distance and ask if he wants to break up, or should I just back off completely and wait for him to come to me?

73 votes

I'm 34 and everyone around me is getting married except me. I've had three serious relationships that all ended around the two-year mark when I "got cold feet." My counsellor says I have an avoidant attachment style. My mother says I'm "too picky." Here's the thing: in each relationship, I noticed red flags early on that I ignored because I wanted it to work. Then later, I couldn't unsee them. My boyfriend before last was condescending about my job. The one before that was still emotionally fixated on his mother. My most recent ex was kind but we had nothing to talk about, and no sparks. My friends say no one is perfect and I need to "learn to compromise." But am I being too picky, or am I actually seeing clearly when others are settling? How do I know if my standards are healthy or self-protective sabotage?

79 votes

A streaming platform is offering me $5 million to direct a film. It's not my style. The script is uninspired. But it would be an opportunity to build a name for myself. And the producer says if it works, I can make my own decision on what to work on next. My mentor says I should stay true to my voice—that compromising will corrupt my artistic vision permanently. My agent says that in the real world I've spent enough time in the minors, and now here's a chance and I need to leap. Adapt and evolve. I think about directors who "sold out" and never came back. But I also think about dying unknown while my hard drives full of unseen masterpieces gather dust. Should I take the money and run?

85 votes