Abraham Lincoln

Is it a sense of justice or bitterness that motivates me? Two years ago, a senior partner at my firm retired and I was passed over for someone who joined six months after me—but who went to a more prestigious law school and has family connections to major clients. I've been stewing ever since. I work harder than anyone in my department. I bill more hours, and my outcomes are better. But I can't stop obsessing over this injustice. I've started looking at other firms, but part of me wants to stay and prove them wrong. My wife says the bitterness is changing me. I snap at the kids. I check my work email at dinner. I fantasize about my rival failing spectacularly. Is my ambition healthy or is it destroying me? Should I leave for a fresh start or stay and fight for what I deserve? — Passed Over in Philadelphia

86 votes

My department is split over AI. I lead a department of 40 at a Fortune 500 company. The department is split down the middle: half believe we should aggressively adopt AI tools to stay competitive, half believe AI threatens their jobs and resist every initiative. The resisters aren't stupid—many are my most experienced people. They've seen "transformative" technologies come and go. But the adopters aren't wrong either—our competitors are moving fast and we're falling behind. I've tried compromise, pilot programs, training sessions. Nothing works. Both sides think I'm favoring the other. Morale is tanking. My best people on both sides are interviewing elsewhere. How do I lead when my team is genuinely, irreconcilably divided? Do I pick a side or keep trying to find middle ground? — Torn in Two in Toronto

91 votes

I just became CEO after a brutal boardroom battle. I won, but barely—the vote was 5-4, and the four who opposed me haven't resigned. They're still on the board, still whispering to executives, still trying to undermine every initiative I propose. My instinct is to clean house. Push them out, promote loyalists, make it clear that opposition has consequences. A friend who runs a private equity firm says, "Consolidate power fast or they'll do it to you." But my wife, who's watched me through years of corporate warfare, says I'm becoming someone she doesn't recognize. "What happened to the guy who wanted to build something, not just win?" she asked last night. I could try to win them over. Make concessions. Build a team of rivals. But that feels naive—they've already shown they'd rather see me fail than the company succeed. Is there wisdom in magnanimity, or is that just a recipe for getting stabbed in the back? — The Divided Company in Charlotte

87 votes